Last week, there was a new big news story of national important. It seems that a middle school in Readington, New Jersey decreed that no strapless dresses would be allowed at the school's 8th grade prom. Not only did the kids think it was stupid, but so did many of the parents. The rationale for this dress code was that it would be way to distracting/sexual for boys to be with girls with no straps on their dresses.
Now if you ask me, strapless dresses are almost virginal looking these days as opposed to dresses that are skin tight and whose hems barely cover those cute girl's tushies! Perhaps your daughter has a prom coming up and the shopping isn't going well for the two of you. You yank, and tuck all in the name of keeping your daughter's privates private, while she whines and berates you with the "this is what everyone else is wearing, and their moms aren't acting like such a prude!"
As a parent, you are allowed to have some say, and if you are the holder of the credit card...alot of say. Unlike the administrators in New Jersey, I have no issues with a strapless dress, unless it can't pass the 'half breast" test. It is all subjective, but kids in middle school are still play-acting the "sexy" thing. They are mimicking what they see on TV and are living out the first prom fantasy. Many of the girls don't even have much breast to speak of yet, but want to buy a dress that screams "I'm hot" Whatever happened to just wanting to look cute or pretty. So yesterday! Hot beats out cute every time.
Whatever you decide about the dress issue, keep those "I get it" statements coming. Saying things like: "that dress makes you look like a slut"is not helpful. First of all, that is probably the look they are going for, so you are reinforcing for them the hankering to buy that dress. Saying instead: " I think I get the look you are going for, I know it's fun to look sexy and I am happy you are so proud of your body, but this dress I think might send a message to a boy that could really put you in an awkward and potentially unsafe situation, and I am just not comfortable with that." I know we can find something that feels "sexy and hot" and that feels OK to me.
Good luck with the search, and if I am at the same store in the dressing room next door and hear a fight between you and your daughter, I promise to come out and agree with you!!!
Tomorrow-prom-proofing your teen and keeping them safe.