Thursday, June 14, 2018

Giving Your Kids The Chance To Get To Know The Real You..It's A Gift!

Two months ago, my husband and I celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary. We were going out for a nice dinner and to a concert. Before I left the house for our evening out, I printed out an article from the New York Times I had read called The 36 Questions That Lead To Love.  Now let's assume my hubby and I are in love, after all 38 years is not nothing. And this questionnaire was written to help new couples learn about each other and explore areas of their life that might not enter their conversation without direction, and that might ultimately help them decide their  compatibility. I just thought it would be fun to talk about more intimate subjects than our usual daily conversation. BTW this is not about SEX!! Questions like: What would be your perfect day? or If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be??  Honestly it was one of the most beautiful and intimate conversations we had had in years. We only got to 3 questions during our 1 1/2 hour dinner as each question took us in many different directions. It was a special and wonderful anniversary.

Two weeks ago we returned from a glorious vacation to Italy. Neither my husband or I had traveled to Europe since college. Our amazing daughter rented a villa in Umbria and invited my husband and I and 8 of her closet friends to join her and her boyfriend in this magical place. Our last night there I again pulled out the 36 questions and as a group of 10 we spent hours sharing our stories with each other. Truthfully one of the most special evenings of my life, and I think the group would say the same. (I have linked you to the NYTImes article below. You don't have to wait till your 38th wedding anniversary)

OK , so here's the connection to you. Recently Huff post published two similar kinds of questionnaires. Questions to ask your mom, and Questions to ask your dad! They are wonderful. and with Fathers day this Sunday I encourage you to print out these questionnaires and invite your kids to ask any or all that interest them.  Questions like: What was your relationship with your parents like? What kind of trouble did you get into? Giving your kids permission to really get to know you is an invitation to intimacy and connection. Giving them an opportunity to see another side of you, you at a younger age. This less perfect you gives them permission to be OK with who they are right now. We don't always know how to really share our true feelings. Maybe you're not a "sharer" by nature, but trust me on this, your kids want to know about you, and most especially they want to know what you were like when you were their age. You will create a special family moment, as well as a chance for your kids to get to know you in a different way. Hey there may even be some tears!! And plenty of laughs as well. There is no better gift for Fathers Day or Mothers Day than the gift of honesty and communication. Let me know how it goes!!!