Thursday, November 9, 2017

It's Hard To Stop A Bully!!!!

watch and then we'll talk!!

This video is exceptional! It doesn't really offer strategy, but it certainly addresses the bystander in all of us. How much easier it is to "not get involved." Teens especially have a really hard time standing up for themselves and/or for other people who they witness being bullied. The hyper-self-consiousness that teens feel so acutely makes it almost impossible for them to "do the right thing", even though in theory they know better. The link below will take you to a video of a show that NBC did a few years ago about teens and bullying, illustrating this point. It would be great for you to watch with your teens. Listen, the adults in the video above couldn't get out of their own way, of course vulnerable teens will find it a million times harder!!!

Bullying is all about power. It is only fun to bully someone as long as the victim stays in that one down position.  In the moment, and in the middle of a bully's taunt that puts a kid in that one down position, most kids are unprepared and their reaction is often fuel for the bully, like showing fear, embarrassment, or attempts to avoid the bully. Like all new experiences in life, most kids are not prepared for the possibility that someone might deliberately want to humiliate them. As adults we hope that that type of situation won't happen to our kids, or that our kids won't be the perpetrators of bullying, and so most often we don't get around to dealing with it until after it happens.

Giving our kids strategies for those moments in life when they are unprepared is paramount. Humor,and sarcasm are very effective tools to help counter some of the the bully's attempts at humiliation. If you have a teen who is overweight and has been teased about it, helping them to come up with some quick retorts like, "big is beautiful, thanks for the compliment", or a sarcastic retort after a fat comment: "Ya think" or "ooh you're so observant" or, " I'm looking for a trainer, want to help me get in shape?"said with strength and power.

Actress Gabby Sidibe is a master at putting bullies in their place as seen in this tweet she posted to people who commented on her weight after photos that were posted after this past Sunday's Golden Globes Make sure you show this to your kids. She is the best teacher there is!

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