The Obsession With Pretty

Just read this article today and feeling disturbed. It talks about girls who post pictures of themselves and then ask for feedback about whether people think they are pretty or ugly. UGH!!! This makes me so sad, I just feel that we are moving in the wrong direction here. First I hear about thigh gaps, and the need for teen girls to prove their skinniness with a gap between their thighs, and now this need to have either validation that yes you are hot, or no you look like sh**!! As you can imagine, these teens love being brutally honest. Well I wouldn't really even call it honest, since mean people are out there in cyberspace and like nothing more than to put people down, pretty or not.

Does your daughter constantly ask you: "Am I Pretty?" Rather than getting into a debate with her because of course you will because you will say:" of course you're pretty" And than she will say: " no I'm not, I'm fat, my knees are to fat, I don't like my nose, my hair, my anything!!" And basically she thinks you're lying because you can't be objective. But then, why did she ask you anyway!!!!

So next time when you're daughter asks you that very loaded "am I pretty?" question, try to take the conversation in another direction. You can use an I get it statement. " You know honey, I get that being pretty in other people's eyes is really important to you. And of course I think you're beautiful, and I know that won't really satisfy you. Tell me what you think being pretty means? Do you think if people think you're pretty they'll treat you differently than they treat you now. Do you think boys will treat you differently than they treat you now? Can you think of someone you don't think is pretty, but still has alot of confidence and people really like and respect her. Why do you think draws people to her if in fact you don't think she is pretty?"

Read this article with her, and see what she thinks. Try to help her see the big picture. I know it may be a losing battle, but give it a shot.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/03/fashion/am-i-pretty-videos-posed-to-the-internet-raise-questions.html?hpw&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&version=HpHedThumbWell&module=well-region&region=bottom-well&WT.nav=bottom-well