Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Hey Poster Girls...Read This
Read first and then we'll "talk"
Thank you Mrs Hall for providing parents with a great conversation starter to use with both their teen girls and teen boys. Most teens have no clue as to what happens on the other end of a text or tweet or instagram post as it is read. That's what makes sending sexy pics, and sexy texts so easy.
What teens do have though are very active fantasy lives. And now with technology, the ability to act out those fantasies. In my day I just fantasized about what it might be like to be desired by a cute boy I liked, but short of showing up at his house with my naked body covered only by my puffy pink parka, as a 15 year old that fantasy stayed right where it belonged...in my head!
Teens absolutely do not think about the consequences or the what might happen if... That emotional, neurotransmittered. combustible Amygdala driven teenage brain is in the driver seat. And oh the possibilities it gives them to have impulse driven technology!
In the many, and yes there have been many coaching sessions I have had with parents, who after finding topless, nude or bra and panties photos of their daughters sent to boys on whom they have a crush, or parents of boys who have found naked pictures of girls on their son's phone, or text messages that read like 1-900-porn, parents are speechless, nauseous, and furious at their teens for behaving in such a disgusting and what they fear amoral way. The teens, when confronted with this "evidence" of amoral behavior just don't get what the big deal is anyway.
I often parents to ask their kids the following question: "If you were at a party with friends and were asked to take your clothes off and pose like you did in this picture for everyone, would you do that?"And as you might imagine, ALL the teens responded with a, "Are you f**king kidding me? I'm not a stripper!" There is the disconnect. In the privacy of their room they fantasize about their one and only seeing them in all their glory. But it is almost never for that one and only. And that private moment becomes a virtual room of party goers!
This is why supervision, and monitoring is so important. Not to punish or lecture but to teach self-respect and the value of real intimacy. That is your job, believe me there is no where else they can get that kind of an education. So read this blog to your teens, follow news stories where sexting has had unanticipated consequences, and monitor and supervise your teens smartphone, ipad, itouch and whatever the next invention is!