Wednesday, March 27, 2013
A Father's Love And Acceptance
This letter was posted on facebook, and became a huge hit for gay and lesbians, parents of gay and lesbians, or people like me, who love seeing a parent show complete unconditional acceptance for who their son is. In this case it is that his son is gay. What a gift this dad gave to his son, who is clearly worried to share this most important part of who he is, to the parents he loves. The worry and anticipation and probable dread of sharing this most intimate detail has probably plagued this young man for some time. How wonderful that his dad took all the fear away.
Maybe what your teen has to share with you is not something as significant as his/her sexuality. Perhaps it may be that they want to quit a sport or musical instrument that has played a significant role in all your lives, and worries that you will judge them harshly and see them as a quitter. Perhaps your son or daughter realizes that they are not ready for college, and need time to figure out some stuff before they commit to such an enormous decision, and worry that you will think they are a loser.
Kids worry .....a lot about what their parents think about them. They sense your expectations for them, and know that sometimes they just won't be able to live up to them, and think that will change what you think and feel about them forever.
Accepting who your kids are can sometimes be hard for parents. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, sometimes they are our dreams unfulfilled, and we look to our kids to do better, and sometimes we see our kids as reflections of ourselves, and want them to be "just like us." Sometimes they are, and sometimes they are not.
If you sense that your teen has something they need to say to you, but avoid it like the plaque. Like this dad, give them the gift of acceptance.