Friday, December 17, 2010

When I screw up: Teens Speak For Themselves

The holiday break is just about here. This weekend will be a celebratory time because its the week before vacation, and then the next week will be celebratory because it is vacation, and then the week after that.....
I think the only angels in your house will be the ones on top of your trees if you have a tree. Other than that I would expect no angel sightings. In light of this time of year, and with the expectation that your teen will probably do many things to piss you off like sleeping too much, staying up too late, texting during holiday meals and festivities, lack of excitement for the spirit of giving, and much excitement for the spirit of getting, and only wanting to be with friends and not family. I  offer you these words from the 9th through 12 graders I surveyed about screwing up. These kids lay it on the table, and I think are important sentiments for parents to hear. The holidays can be wonderful and loving times for families, and also often don't live to the expectations we all have for them. Have fun when its fun, and try to let the other stuff not overshadow those lovely moments. In their own words...


·      Talked to me about it and not acted like I was the worst thing in the world.
·      Just given me more time to prove myself, and over time show them I’m responsible.
·      Worked together instead of having Dad do everything
·      Talked to me in a calm tone instead of yelling at me.
·      Just said that they knew I could do better, and then let it be for me to fix myself.
·      Just asked instead of jumping to conclusion.
·      Heard me out, and thought of themselves when they were teenagers.
·      Not yelled at me so much.
·      Forgiven me sooner than later.
·      Just asked me what happened instead of just punishing me.
·      Understand that teen’s make mistakes like that.
·      Talked to me like I was 16 not like I was 9
·      Been more understanding and had taken the time to hear my side of the story.
·      Supported me a lot more than they did.
·      Actually talked to me, not yelled or hit me
·      Know how much I wish I didn’t do it.
·      little more control of themselves, and didn’t get so mad with me
·      Accept my point of view and accept my apology and don’t think of me wrong even though they still do.
·      Not yelled at me but talked to me about it, and not make me feel like a failure.
·      Seen where I was coming from and why I said what I said.
·      Not yell at me, but just talked with me and didn’t accuse me of something that’s not true.
·      Helped me a little more rather than punish me after every offense.

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