The Truth About Lying

A parent wrote me recently with this question. I'm guessing it will be a familiar quandary.

Lying.  My daughter has been taking some expensive classes each weekend and my husband and I just discovered that she's skipped 2 of them. She said she really hates the classes but of course we're still dealing with the deceit and her whereabouts for the time she was supposed to be in class.  Since the classes were expensive we were thinking about having her pay for anything she wants for the rest of the year (Senior Prom dress, AP exams, dance competition fees, new track cleats, it really goes on and on) and/or moving the date she takes her driving test to the summer since she has betrayed our trust.  My husband wants to come down really hard here to illustrate how hurt we are by her lying and how unacceptable lying is to us.  Do you have any thoughts?

Kids are funny, aren't they? They are in constant request and promise mode. If you will buy me/pay for me to/take me... I promise I will do xyz, pleeeese!!! I dont' know what class exactly this daughter was taking, but I am sure the motivation came from another friend, or a fantasy she had about what class would be like. Unfortunately, teens base many of their decisions on fantasy and emotion. They imagine that if they join this team, take this modeling class or specialized training program all sorts of amazing things will happen for them. What they aren't imagining or anticipating is that there will be actual work involved and required seriousness by the instructor/coach. Maybe her best friend was doing it and she wanted to make sure that she wasn't missing out on something. Turns out, it wasn't fun, wasn't what she expected, got in the way of other opportunities, take your pick, and now what? She knows that if she tells her parents whe wants to quit, she will have to hear about "quitters" and money, and commitment and so on and so on. And her parents will be right, and that is the worst for any teen... a parent that is right. So what does any self-respecting teen do in this situation..LIE

Ah, if only they could get away with it. And this girl did for at least two of the classes. I know the parents are worried about what their daughter was doing instead, I'm guessing not much, hiding out at a friends' probably. So what to do, what to do. First I would want to know why the avoidance to talk to  parents beforehand. Lying is an avoidance technique, and if your teen is lying to avoid you than he/she is either worried about disappointing you or worried that you will just get mad and not listen. 

It is really important to understand what motivated the lying. Are you scary? Do you go right to the angry place? If so, your teen has little motivation to be honest. Unfortunately what they don't get is that lying makes everything that much worse; the disappointment, and the anger. In the above situation, I would actually calculate the amount of $$ of the missed classes and deduct that from future spending on non-essentials. That is an objective, non-emotional, right to the point, consequence. 

But as important is a calm conversation about what got in the way of her just coming to her parents and saying she didn't like the class. Parents this is an important time to share ownership of the lying. By literally saying, "what could we do differently to make it easier for you to come to us, so that you wouldn't feel you had to lie instead." Decision making is not a teens strong suit. They are impulsive, emotional and persuasive. It is really hard for a parent not to get drawn into their enthusiasm. I think one way to counter this unrealistic enthusism is to have your teen take shared ownership of a decision. For example, the next time this girl asks her parents to do something like this, with a possibility that down the line the teen might change her mind, is to have them share financial responsibility from the get go. If she doesn't have money saved, then an agreement to work it off doing projects of your choosing. This way if things go south, your teen has an investment in making it work. 

As for lying, I know how frustrating and disappointing this can be. But this doesn't change the essence of who your teen is. They care alot about what you think, and rather than feel your disappointment they will go to great lengths to avoid it. It doesn't make them bad, or ungrateful, just part of the normal trajectory of teen behavior. You won't like it, and you need to absolutely address it, but look at it as a problem to be solved rather than a characterization of who your teen is. 

There are different kinds of lies. Lies of avoidance like this story and lies for getting away with doing something you will say no to, and lies of shame. Teens are extremely motivated to do what they want to do, and go where they want to go, without parental interference. Even the "good" kids. Providing motivation for truth-telling is your greatest weapon!

This link is to a  great Boston Globe article that was in the paper last week about how to encourage truth telling! Also below is a link to my latest Facebook live broadcast: The Pushing button Fight

https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2017/01/24/want-honest-kids-commend-them-for-telling-truth-when-they-something-wrong/8TaXlgWiiIpItz1Ete38dK/story.html

https://www.facebook.com/joani.geltman?pnref=story  (Scroll down to find broadcast)

Snapchat As A Second Language

The other day I was prepping for a seminar I was giving that night called Social Networking: What's A Parent To Do? While the rest of you were enjoying your favorite TV show or sitting down with a good book, I was trolling the internet for the latest on what apps teens are flocking to this week! This is how I spend my free time! Gotta stay up to date. So what I found out is that there don't seem to be any new apps, and Snap Chat still seems to be #1 on the teen app hit parade.

What I found so fascinating as I dove into the depths of snap chat is how deep this app goes. Apparently there is a whole language out there of emoji's that define and describe the relationships a teen has with their snap chat-ers! There are hearts where different colors mean different things. And emojis of baby faces that show that you and your fellow snap chat-er are newbies with each other. There are faces with glasses, no glasses, happy faces, angry faces, I could go on for hours. So complicated!. Honestly I was thinking that if your kids spent as much time studying their spanish as they do figuring out this snap chat s**t they would be the most fluent person alive.

Seriously, this is complicated stuff, and I do think it would behoove you to study up on it yourself. This app is running your teens's life. And since it just disappears you may never know how it affects how they feel about themselves and their friends. The article below is a good way to educate yourself so at least you can have an informed conversation with your teen about how all this feels to them. Do they feel bad if they get the "wrong" color heart from a friend, does it hurt? What about a scowling face? You can't ask if you don't know. These apps seem innocent enough until you start to delve into it's complicated sub-text.  So go ahead, get educated!!! You can go back to your book later!!! (link below)

http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/12-surprising-things-snalasspchat-users-know/

PS Tune in Sunday @8 PM for Joani's Facebook live Ten Minute Teen Troubleshooting Parenting Tip: The Pushing Buttons fight

How Many Time Do I Have To Remind You.......!!

Zits Comic:

Jeremy walks into the kitchen where a huge calendar is on the wall

Jeremy: What's this?

Mom: It's a family schedule board. This will be a place you can come to for reminders, appointments, lists and general information of any kind.

Jeremy: I thought that's what you were for!

Like Jeremy, your teens are probably mom dependent! Somehow you become that person of blame when a practice or rehearsal is missed, or a music lesson, or haircut even though you have a very distinct memory of reminding your teen just that morning of said practice, lesson or appointment. And now somehow, it has become your fault that they forgot it. Isn't it always that way? You never get credit for the good stuff you are responsible for, but get sh** for the stuff that is really their responsibility.

Family calendars in theory are a great idea, especially if you have several children. But their effectiveness is more about keeping your head straight about who is going where and when than for your kids. They can open and close the refrigerator door a thousand time, and never once glance at the schedule. After all, their head is filled with way more important things as they mindlessly survey the contents of the fridge. That big board is just filled with alot of useless letters and words.

So you have a choice. Let the calendar speak for itself, and declare yourself off duty as the schedule master. If you stick to your guns, your teens will learn by default that the responsibility of keeping track of their lives will fall to them. Natural consequences like angry coaches or piano teachers might yield a change in behavior. Or, you can keep the schedule in play for youself, and find better strategies to remind your kids about what is coming up. Just saying "don't forget...." is not a strategy. In the moment they hear you, but in the chaos of their brain, as soon as a thought with more importance pings, your reminder is long gone. Develop a system together, a text message, a note on their steering wheel if they drive, an alarm set on their phone. Be creative, like dogs who salivate when they hear the can opener, and know that food is on the way, so can your teens be trained. Just get creative!

Sunday's Facebook live broadcast: The NO Fights. Next Sunday 1/29 The Pushing Buttons Fight!
https://www.facebook.com/joani.geltman

I'm Glad My Parents......

Perhaps you are feeling a bit discouraged after reading my students write about all the things they wish their parents had done differently to prepare them for the rest of their life. Here is the good news, there are many things their parents did right and that they are grateful for. Here they are!

I'm glad my parents:

• Didn't punish me every time I made a mistake or got a bad grade.
• Were honest, and didn't pretend that they were perfect teenagers.
• Taught me to work for what I wanted instead of just expecting to get it.
• Were always there for me.
• Taught me about taking personal responsibility while still providing a support system.
• Made me get a job.
• Didn't embarrass me in public or with my friends.
• Told me how proud they were of me.
• Gave me space when necessary.
• Have always been supportive and accepted my choices even if they disagreed.
• Limited TV and computer use.
• Made a home-cooked meal every night.
• Made me work for my money.
• Were on my ass about my grades.
• Amazing listeners and gave extremely good advice.
• Told me what I did wrong without hurting my self-esteem.
• Made me do my homework.
• Taught me self-respect.
• Took time out to listen to my ideas and interests.
• Pushed me to try new things.
• Loved me and showed me they cared.
• Taught me that nothing is handed to you in life.  
• Told me to follow my dreams and be who I want to be.
• Didn't necessarily punish me for the things I did wrong, but explained it was wrong and they were "disappointed." 
• Taught me to save money.
• Were open about drinking, and weren't unrealistic about partying, and we could talk about it. 
• Had a sense of humor.
• Always ate dinner with me.
• Spent time with me.
• Let me learn on my own and made me independent.

Just to remind: Facebook live broadcast Sunday at 8 pm. Joani's Ten Minute Teen Troubleshooting Parenting Tip:  The "NO" fights!

Also below is a list of the seminars I offer to schools and companies. Maybe you'd like to bring me to your school or company. I travel!!! 

And if you need some help with parenting your teen, lets do some parenting coaching. By phone or in person! Joani@joanigeltman.com, or invite a group of friends over and lets do an Ask The Expert Party. You bring the food and wine...I'll bring the fun and advice!

Adolescent Psychology: The Parent Version

• Learn how the brain affects your teen’s behavior. It’s the battle of the thinking brain VS the feeling brain.
• Learn Effective strategies for arguing-The Four Ways Of Fighting.
• Develop effective strategies for keeping your teen safe as they explore the new world of teen life.
• Learn how to teen-proof your home and cell-proof your teen

Sexting. Texting and Social Networking: What’s A Parent To Do?

• Understand how the “emotional brain” of a teen gets “turned on” by social networking.
• Understand how the “Imaginary Audience” influences your teen’s performing on social media.
• Learn which apps are safe and unsafe
• Learn strategies to monitor and set limits around phone and internet use
• Learn how your own behavior with phones and computers can positively and negatively influence your teen.

Drugs and Alcohol: How Does Your Teen’s Personality Style, and Your Parenting Style impact their experimentation with drugs and alcohol?

• Identify your teen’s personality style and risk-factors with drugs and alcohol
• Identify your parenting style and how it influences your teen’s drug and alcohol use
• Learn effective strategies and scripts to keep your teen safe

                                                College Bound

• Understand the emotional journey of your college bound high school student
• Understand the emotional journey of a parent of college bound high school student
• Learn strategies for making this process successful and positive

Joani’s Top Ten Parenting Tips

The secret to parenting is to keep it simple. Learn 10 simple, concrete practical tips useful in those daily moments of stress as a parent when you wish you had the "right thing to do and the right thing to say!

The Lessons Teens Have For Their Parents

Each semester I ask my 60 freshman college students to reflect on their life as  teens prior to college. I asked them to complete these two statements: I wish my parents had, and I am glad that my parents.....After each statement, I've got something to say(in italics)!  Of course I do! I have narrowed them down to the 5 most frequent responses.

• I wish my parents knew how much I actually loved and respected them instead of taking my mistakes personally. Too often parents see themselves reflected in their kids, both in their triumphs, and in their downfalls.  Whatever your teen accomplishes or doesn't accomplish is on them!  If they do well it doesn't mean you are the greatest parent in the world, and if they fail, it doesn't mean you are the worst parent in the world. Cause guess what? It isn't always about you!     

• I wish my parents had understood how scared I was about my future in high school, and the pressure I felt to succeed.  I know how worried parents get about their teens future. Your teens feel your worry, and your disappointment. Layered on that is their own worry and disappointment when they don't do as well as they want, even when they know it's their own fault.  When they are worried and scared and disappointed, it often shows itself with anger and attitude. That is much easier to express then shame and doubt. Try to see through it!    

• I wish my parents hadn't compared me with my other siblings, and pressured me to meet their high standards. We are not the same. Another student said on the same topic: I wish my parents understood that I am not following in my brother's footsteps. I 'm not going to do everything like him. I am going to make my own mistakes. All children are not created equal. You may think that you treat all your kids equally, but those kids who don't measure up to what they believe the family standard is may always feel not good enough unless you make a supreme effort to make them think otherwise.    

• I wish my parents had understood how their divorce effects me today. They tried to drag me in the middle, and I always felt I had to fend for myself. Families face all kinds of crisis.  Divorce, chronic illness, financial worries, moves away from friends, all manner of life events. Teens are resilient, they can handle alot, but they need the adults in their life to have realistic expectations. When you are overwhelmed with your stress it can overshadow what your kids might be experiencing. They are not good at talking about it, and it may look as if they have it all under control. Trust me, they don't!   

• I wish my parents had been more aware of the mistakes I was making in high school by paying more attention and helping me. and another student:I wish my parents had been more aware of my relationship so I had someone to talk to when things got physical and bad. and another student: I wish my parents had understood I wanted them to push me harder through school/soccer. and another student: I wish my parents had pushed me to try new things, ie sports, clubs,  or summer camp. and another student: I wish my parents had pushed me more to want to get better grades, and to care more about school work. and another student: I wish my parents had taught me better homework study habits and were more involved academically. I could go on here, there are many more statements on this theme. I bet what these students are saying is surprising. Because  I'm sure every time you go into your teen's room to make sure they are doing their homework, they give you the evil eye. Well guess what, when they get to college and no one is giving them the evil eye they often don't get their work done. Don't stop bugging them, just cause they tell you to. They need you to help them integrate good study habits.  Too much facebook, too much texting, too much distraction. They also want you to push them a little harder to help them find something that will give them a feeling of accomplishment, especially if it isn't school. Don't let them off  the hook easily when it comes to after-school expectations. Sometimes it's not that they don't want to do anything, they just can't figure out what the something should be. Bottom line, though they tell you to get out of their lives, they don't really mean it. 

Here is a link to my most recent Facebook live broadcast. Joani's Ten Minute Teen Troubleshooting Parenting Tip: The Gotcha Fight...Enjoy

https://www.facebook.com/joani.geltman/videos/10154250697226914/

Things Teenagers Do!!

• Love their friends more than they love you, at least temporarily
• Love their friends more than they like school, at least temporarily
• Talk back
• Not talk at all
• Think they know everything
• Think you know nothing
• Think they are always right
• Think you are never right
• Has a messy room
• "Forget" to do their chores
• Go places and not tell you with whom, where or when they will be home
• Get in car accidents
• Runs out of gas
• Have friends drive with them even though they're not allowed to
• Maybe drink
• Maybe smoke some weed
• Maybe have sex of some kind
• Want to go to parties, especially at houses where the parents aren't home or are clueless
• Sneak out at night
• Lie
• Appear lazy and unmotivated
• Never want to spend time with the family
• Is mean to their younger brothers and sisters
• Argues and picks fights
• Is sarcastic and can be mean
• Are funny
• Are sweet
• Are loving 
• Are kind
• Are passionate

Sound familiar? These are all normal testing behaviors of teenagers. Having any or all of these behaviors does not make your teen a sociopath or a bad kid, just a kid who's learning about the world, what it has to offer, and what kinds of consequences there are when you act that way. 

Don't be too accepting and don't be too critical.  There is some nice space in the middle, understanding what's within the "normal" but still making kids accountable.

I was playing solitaire on my phone last night. I thought the game was over. I couldn't find any more moves and was about to close it out. My eye caught that one move that changed the whole game, and I won!! Life with a teen is kinda like that. It might seem that you can't take anymore, and then something shifts, and you can finish and move on. You gotta have patience. I'm still learning that!

Don't forget that barring any technical glitches I will be back on Facebook live on Sunday at 8 PM for Joani's Ten Minute Teen Troubleshooting Parenting Tip! The Gotcha fights!

Building Resourcefulness and Resilience In Your Teen

Parents, take this short quiz:

1. T  F  When my kid has a paper to write, I love when I, I mean when he/she gets a good grade.
2. T  F  When my teen is having a problem with a teacher, a friend, a coach or the other "parent" I love to provide the solution to make his/her life easier, and have them benefit from my experience.
3. T  F  When my teen is looking for a job, a summer program, or community service, I do everything I can to help by calling everyone I know.
4. T  F  Now that my teen is ready for the college process, I do all the research about the colleges, visits, and requirements, because I know how busy my teen is.
5. T  F  When my teen doesn't know how to do something, I love telling him/her how to do it, because I know they appreciate and expect my help.

So, how did you do?? If you even had one "T" you might unknowingly be preventing your teen from developing resourcefulness and resilience, two personality traits that are present in very successful adults. Getting straight "A"s", graduating at the top of the class, or even going to an Ivy League college is not what guarantees success in life.

Most teens demand to be in charge of their social life, not wanting help from you at all. But when it comes to the parts of their life, they feel less confident in, they may demand your help. And what parents doesn't love it, when your teen asks for your help. It's like a drug. It may not happen often, but when it does, you are primed and ready for action. If feeds your need to feel like a competent and supportive parent, especially if your relationship with your teen has been going through a rocky spell. But what makes kids feel confident and competent is moving past frustration to success.

Think of it this way. Perhaps recently you bought a coffee table for your family room from IKEA. In the store the table looked pretty simple to put together; A few slabs of wood, some glass, a couple of screws and bolts...piece of cake!! Then you get the big brown box home, enthusiastically throw all the stuff on the floor, with the expectation you will have your beautiful table up and usable in an hour or so. 5 hours later, sweat pouring off your brow, swears emanating from your mouth, you kick the stupid wood, throw the screws against the wall, ready to "cry uncle". You get up, stomp around your house, curse IKEA and the directions that seem to be written for someone with a PHD in engineering, and then you get back down on the floor, and start again. And finally, because the only choice was to figure out how to put the damn table together, the table comes together, almost magically. And you stand up, puffed up with pride and look at your "baby". And every time a new person walks into your house, and they compliment you on your cool coffee table, you say proudly.. I put that table together. And honestly it feels as important to you as almost anything else you have accomplished in your life. And why is that? Is is because you persisted through your frustration, your feeling of incompetence and what felt like the impossible, to your ultimate success. It is a feeling you don't forget.

When you solve your teen's problems for them, even if they ask you too, when you give into their frustration because it feels unbearable to you, you take away the opportunity for them to have their IKEA moments. The ability to delay gratification, develop frustration tolerance, and figure it out,  is something that will follow them all the way through their life. Through relationships that go through hard times, to jobs that aren't working out the way they anticipated, money problems, housing issues, and their own ability to parent. An A in English will not be helpful in those situations. There is truly nothing more important to teach your teens than the ability to accept and deal with disappointment, that they can't have or do anything they want to have or do just because they want it, or that when something feels just too hard, that you will rescue them from their pain.

So the next time they come to you for help, start first with a "so what do YOU think you should do? The process will take a lot longer, but when you can say to your teen, I am really proud of you,I know that was really hard for you to do, but you stuck with it, and "just look at your table!"

PS: Had some technical difficulties with my Facebook live broadcast this past Sunday. All made up, dressed up, (at least from the waist up, love me my sweat pants!) and the video wouldn't go live. So I will try again this Sunday with the Gotcha Fight!!! Please tune in!!!

Why Does My Teen Have To Act Like A Teen????

I am on twitter, but  I don't seem to have very much to say. It is really hard to be interesting, topical, funny, charming, and not boring. So for now I have just been posting my blogs. But just because I find Twitter painful, doesn't mean there aren't some amazingly entertaining and informative people out there writing.

Here is one I particularly love: "Dad keeps saying that I am acting like a cliche of a teenager and I don't understand why that's surprising."How brilliant is she? How many times have you thought that same thing about your teen. When the stereotype behavior of eye-rolling, snide comments, laziness, messy room, distracted by technology to the max, etc etc etc just get to you, and you think those exact words, why are the so much like a teenager? Why can't they act more like an adult?  Because....they ARE teenagers. Everyone of those behaviors is completely normal. They roll their eyes, and speak with a snarky tone, because you are probably unbelievably predictable. Your kids know exactly what you are going to say to them, how you are going to say it, and what you want their answers to be. The eye-rolling is the, "here we go again" short-cut. If you look at yourself honestly, you probably do repeat yourself a million times a day, because, they just don't seem to be listening, cause if they were..THEY WOULD JUST DO WHAT YOU ASK!!!! Right?  The laziness, and technology is a teenagers way of showing you what is the most important thing in their life right now, and it isn't a neat room. It is doing everything they can to stay in contact with their beloved friends, or the friends they are hoping to have, or dissing the friends they don't like anymore. Anything to do with friends is definitely their number one priority. You have got to accept that, and understand that, but you still have to set limits around it, but I'm just saying, they will never wrap their arms around you and thank you for saving themselves from their friends.

So how to survive all the annoying traits of a teenager. First it is just a stage. They truly will not be like this for the rest of their lives, Really I mean that most sincerely. Just remember how your terrible two year old turned into the sweetest human being on the earth around 7, and couldn't show you enough love, so will this terrible teenager. This too shall pass. Try not to judge, set the limits you need to and when the eye rolling and sarcasm gets the better of them, just give them a smile, a hug, and know that in just a few years they will turn into the sweetest human beings on earth.

Remember to tune in Sunday @ 8 PM for my Facebook live broadcast. You can just follow me on Facebook or type my name into their search engine, and because it's public you'll find me. Joani's Ten Minute Teen Troubleshooting Parenting tip! The Gotcha Fights!

Getting Back To Work!

Happy New Year. Yesterday was a busy day, a record number of calls from parents anticipating troubles in the new year. Perhaps there was "trouble in River City" over the holiday week. Maybe some incidents of drinking or drugs threw you for a loop, or realizing that the last 3 weeks of the term are closing in and there are assignments still unfinished, or maybe you are smack in the middle of the final weeks of college apps, and you and your senior are feeling the anxiety of deadlines. Take a deep breath. Getting all crazy, and starting back on the nagging train will not help. Best to just ease into it slowly, that's what your teen will need to do.

Rather than starting right in with the "did you finish/start/do your__________________? How about using this "I Get It" moment. "Hey honey, what are you dreading most about going back to school?" Just a simple question like that let's your teen know that you get how hard it is to transition back to the daily grind. A little empathy goes a long way.  And when they walk in the door after school today, rather than getting right back into the multitude of questions that have plagued you all day about homework, projects and meetings with guidance counselors, give them some space. The first day back pretty much sucks. How many of you were dreading the rush today of alarm clocks, lunches, carpools and that's just the kids stuff, then add to that your work, and your deadlines. See, you and your kids are not all that different. Misery LOVES company!

A few things:

1.This Sunday, Jan 8th I'm back to my Facebook live broadcast Joani's Ten Minute Teen Troubleshooting Parenting Tip. This Sunday is the first in a series of The Four Ways Of Fighting: the Gotcha Ones.

2. Just to remind about my parent coaching services. We can do a phone consult or meet in person if you are in the metropolitan Boston Area. Often parents have a single issue they need help with, and one meeting or phone call does the trick. email me at joani@joanigeltman.com

3. Scheduling seminars for winter/spring. Below are the description of the seminars I have to offer. I speak at schools, for community groups, church and temple groups. I have spoken from coast to coast so location is not a problem! I also speak at many companies and corporations for 1 hour lunchtime seminars for employees. email me at joani@joanigeltman.com

4. Invite me to your house with a group of your friends or the parents of your teen's friends for an Ask The Expert Party. We eat, laugh and and talk about your teens!! email me at joani@joanigeltman.com for information

Joani's Parenting Seminars

Adolescent Psychology: The Parent Version

• Learn how the brain affects your teen’s behavior. It’s the battle of the thinking brain VS the feeling brain.
• Learn Effective strategies for arguing-The Four Ways Of Fighting.
• Develop effective strategies for keeping your teen safe as they explore the new world of teen life.
• Learn how to teen-proof your home and cell-proof your teen

Sexting. Texting and Social Networking: What’s A Parent To Do?

• Understand how the “emotional brain” of a teen gets “turned on” by social networking.
• Understand how the “Imaginary Audience” influences your teen’s performing on social media.
• Learn which apps are safe and unsafe
• Learn strategies to monitor and set limits around phone and internet use
• Learn how your own behavior with phones and computers can positively and negatively influence your teen.

Drugs and Alcohol: How Does Your Teen’s Personality Style, and Your Parenting Style impact their experimentation with drugs and alcohol?

• Identify your teen’s personality style and risk-factors with drugs and alcohol
• Identify your parenting style and how it influences your teen’s drug and alcohol use
• Learn effective strategies and scripts to keep your teen safe

 College Bound:

• Understand the emotional journey of your college bound high school student
• Understand the emotional journey of a parent of college bound high school student
• Learn strategies for making this process successful and positive

 Joani’s Top Ten Parenting Tips

The secret to parenting is to keep it simple. Learn 10 simple, concrete practical tips useful in those daily moments of stress as a parent when you wish you had the "right thing to do and the right thing to say!

With over 30 years of experience working with families, Joani's approach, using humor, storytelling and easy to use tools make the job of parenting just a little bit easier.

Joani Geltman MSW     781-910-1770    joanigeltman.com