Looking Forward...It gets so much better

Just came back from spending a week with my twenty something daughter in LA. It was such a special and wonderful week, that I wanted to let you know what is coming down the pike with your now teens. Though some days it might feel like you are stuck in the hamster wheel, repeating the same words and lectures over and over. Picking up the same pair of socks, sneaks, and sports equipment day after day no matter how many times you remind your teen to do it. Reminding your teen to do homework, get to bed on time, get up on time, it all gets to be too much sometime. So I thought I would tell you what you have to look forward to, help you see the forest through the trees.

Your teen will eventually:

• Have a place of residence that they feel proud of and take care of.  A place that communicates who they are, and what is important to them. It may be a place that is full up of all the values that you are teaching them now but that you don't think they get. Oh they get it!

• Incorporate into their lives what you practiced in your life, spirituality, love of music, books, friends, food, exercise, passion for work and play, and of course family.

• Share their work life with you, share their friends with you, share their passions with you. Thank you for doing and giving all you did to help bring them to this time in their life.

•  Make you so proud of the adult they have become, that you burst with love and anticipation for the many years you have now to share with your son and daughter. 

Here are the things that you can teach them now so that can get to this place later:

• Self Awareness: What are the feelings that can push my buttons and the behaviors that can sabotage my success.

• Taking responsibility: What can I do to take responsibility for my decisions and my actions.  

• Be independent: Develop confidence in my ability to do for myself whether in thought or in action.   

Your job now is to give your teen the opportunities to practice. Doing for, and protecting them from, will not help them to become the self-aware, responsible and independent adults they all have the capacity to become.